1-800-482-8049 – Adult Abuse Hotline
Abuse in Families Coping with Dementia
Caregiving can stir up angry and conflicted feelings, as well as bring out the most loving and unselfish side of a full time caregiver. Verbal abuse, bruises on a person’s arms or legs from restraining, squeezing, or pinching can happen when caregivers are depressed, angry, or overwhelmed with having to provide care for a family member with dementia. Investigations have found that dementia is a definite risk factor for caregiver stress, combined with unrealistic expectations of a person suffering from dementia, can lead to abuse or neglect by caregivers.
Assessing the Needs of Overwhelmed Caregivers
- How much rest are caregivers getting?
- What personal sacrifices are caregivers making in order to serve the person’s needs?
- Are caregivers neglecting their own health?
- Is constant surveillance required as part of care tasks?
- Have caregivers turned to alcohol or drug abuse in their distress? Has substance abuse been lifelong?
- How drastically has the older person’s personality changed in response to illness?
- Are caregivers receiving verbal or physical abuse from the person in their care?
- Is the primary caregiver overwhelmed by demands from several dependent people at once?
- Are financial constraints interfering with the caregiver’s ability to follow medical advice?
- Are problems from the family history resurfacing and contributing to abuse or neglect?
Warning Signs of Stress and Depression
Sleep disturbance: Difficulty falling asleep or remaining asleep; waking up early in the morning feeling anxious or irritable; unable to stop worrying or ruminating.
Appetite changes: Unusual over-eating or loss of appetite; significant weight gain or loss.
Increased medication or alcohol usage: Overuse of sleeping pills, painkillers, alcohol, or caffeine.
Mood changes: Uncharacteristic short-temperedness, crying, or agitation; expressionless face or flat tone of voice; recurrent thoughts of death or suicide.
Physical problems: Decreased resistance to illness; delay or neglect of vital physical needs; poor nutrition.decreased resistance to illness; delay or neglect of vital physical needs; poor nutrition.
Chronic fatigue: Loss of energy; decreased motivation, concentration, and attention; unending sense of tiredness.loss of energy; decreased motivation, concentration, and attention; unending sense of tiredness.
Rough handling: Marked impatience when giving care; hitting, pushing, or yelling when frustrated or angered; neglecting vital care tasks.
Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A Practical Guide (1994) Wendy Lustbader and Nancy Hooyman
Factors to Consider When Siblings Share the Care
- Are worries about the inheritance straining arrangements for care? Are these strains unspoken or out in the open?
- How geographically spread out are the siblings? Does only one live locally, or are the majority nearby?
- Does a large financial disparity exist between siblings? Does one have far greater resources than the other(s).
- What has been the nature of siblings adult relationship with each other? Have they had minimal contact or active friendships with each other?
- How obviously do the parents have a favorite or a scapegoat among the siblings? Have these feelings been carried over into adult life?
- Is there a natural leader among the siblings? Has one mediated conflicts or consistently helped the others?
- Is there a health care professional among the siblings? Do the others view this person as the one who should provide the care or make the decisions?
- Is there a split in the family between those who want to take care of the parent at home and those who prefer to seek nursing home placement?
- Does the family expect daughters to be caregivers in preference to the sons? Do the women accept this role?
- What are the other obligations pressuring each sibling? Do some have young children or other relatives for whom they are already providing care?
Taking Care of Aging Family Members: A Practical Guide (1994) Wendy Lustbader and Nancy Hooyman
